Monday, October 26, 2009

Lack of communication

I am so tired of not being able to communicate what is on my mind.

I don't like it when people say they are going to do something, they don't do it, and when I inquire about it, I am made to feel like the bad guy because I am trying to get some communication.

I don't like it when people pretend to be my friend, don't do what they say they are going to do, expect something from me, and then drop off the face of the earth and make it clear that they aren't really my friend after they get what they want.

It makes me sad.

What's worse is that I feel terrible for feeling this way.

This isn't how I should feel.

God forgave us.

We suck, and He still sent His only Son to die on the cross to save us.

I am no good.

I have been trying so hard to forgive, to have grace and to be a blessing to those who do harm. I am failing miserably. I keep praying about it but so far I am not there yet. What is wrong with me? I need to continue to offer this struggle up to God.

I am done communicating about that which has upset me.

Lord, it is in Your hands now. I'm done. I should have never held on to it and I am sorry for doing so.

These are some "done communicating" words.

By Nicole

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