Some words by Nicole

Down to one blog...

2010-03-28T13:10:00.003-07:00

Okay, the move went great. Thank you for all your love and support. LOL. :)

But seriously folks, the wedding blog has been deleted and the posts I did there are now here. I will be posting some new blogs soon (I hope).

These are some "downsized" words

By Nicole

FYI to those who have checked out our wedding blog

2010-03-28T12:31:00.004-07:00

Hi All!

I just wanted to let you know that I am in the process of moving the blog entries from our wedding blog over here. I am going to be shutting the wedding blog down soon.

These are some "moving the blog" words

By Nicole

Lack of communication

2009-10-26T10:49:00.002-07:00

I am so tired of not being able to communicate what is on my mind.

I don't like it when people say they are going to do something, they don't do it, and when I inquire about it, I am made to feel like the bad guy because I am trying to get some communication.

I don't like it when people pretend to be my friend, don't do what they say they are going to do, expect something from me, and then drop off the face of the earth and make it clear that they aren't really my friend after they get what they want.

It makes me sad.

What's worse is that I feel terrible for feeling this way.

This isn't how I should feel.

God forgave us.

We suck, and He still sent His only Son to die on the cross to save us.

I am no good.

I have been trying so hard to forgive, to have grace and to be a blessing to those who do harm. I am failing miserably. I keep praying about it but so far I am not there yet. What is wrong with me? I need to continue to offer this struggle up to God.

I am done communicating about that which has upset me.

Lord, it is in Your hands now. I'm done. I should have never held on to it and I am sorry for doing so.

These are some "done communicating" words.

By Nicole

Wedding of my dreams...

2009-08-16T12:36:00.000-07:00

Picture it, getting ready for your wedding.

Hanging out, watching TV taking your sweet time.

You would think there would be someone here to help you with your hair right? Someone to help you into your gown or to put on your vale? How about someone to tell you where you are at for time, when you needed to head to the altar?

Nope, not for me.

I can't get my hair right and my vale is way to big for my head. I have to bend the metal comb in half to get it to the size of my head and it won't stay in my hair no matter what I do. It is so over sized! Why isn't it working?! My hair is a mess and I can't get it to lay right. I am a mess. Not only that, my dress is at LEAST 2 sizes too big. I don't know what happened here. We had had it tailored to fit me! The underwear I bought also doesn't fit, it is WAY too big and keeps falling off. What a disaster! All this on my wedding day and no one here to help me!

Now I am late for my OWN WEDDING! I walk into the church, alone mind you, and there are THOUSANDS of people here. Who the heck ARE all these people? I thought our wedding was only 16 people and that is INCLUDING John and I! This is craziness. It's like I am at church at the 10:35 service and everyone is there for MY wedding. NOT what I wanted at all, how could this happen? Oh well it doesn't really matter.

Okay, so I move past that and start down the isle. John is there waiting for me...

WHAT!?!?!?!? oh my gosh. He has a full beard! Not just a little scruff, a little scruff can be very sexy on him, but a FULL ON BEARD! Like Santa only black!!! AAAAND he isn't wearing the amazing suit we got him for the wedding. He's wearing some ugly brown get up. It's similar to a suit but it is frumpy looking, he looks almost like he dug the clothes out of the dirty hamper. I'm upset now. How can this happen? The wedding I always dreamed about was not happening... I look terrible, I was late and my future husband looks like he just stepped out of a dirty clothes hamper!! I'm stuck! This is my life! There's no turning back now! AHHHHHH!!!

John then flexes his bicep in my face saying "Boom! That's what you get!" like he always does when he's "punishing me" for something I've done.

The world is at peace again and I am happy. I don't care about his beard or his dirty clothes. I don't care about my dress or how I look or about the fact that I was late to our wedding. I hold on to his arm and we get married.

I am happy. He is amazing.

And that, my friends, was the wedding of my dreams. :p

Always in Him and with Love,

Nicole

These are some "from our wedding blog" words

by Nicole

Some engagement photos for your enjoyment!

2009-08-03T12:44:00.000-07:00

John Helmstetler + Nicole Hall

The Ring

We're getting married!!!

I love you so much!

Laughing...

Don't we look great together? :)

In black too LOL :)

John makes me so happy!

So in love, praise God for this glorious gift!

L- for Love! Oh wait, did it backwards again Nicole.

Am I doing something wrong here? Ignoring my fiancé , is that bad?

I look at this picture and fall deeper in love with John and I praise God.

Cute.

He's such a nerd, another reason why I know he's God's provision for me.

Ha ha... John's baggage.

Sweet, doesn't it make your teeth hurt?

The beautiful Hotel Del Coronado.

Ahhahahahahaha!

Look how handsome he is!! How did I get so lucky?

This picture was hard... Our faces so close together... Still honoring God though :)

Can't wait till Jeff says "John, you may kiss your bride."!

Almost here... September 10th, 2009!!

These are some "from our wedding blog" words

by Nicole

How God turns a situation you think you can't handle into an amazing, wonderful and unexpected joy.

2009-08-02T12:42:00.002-07:00

This was taken at the Hotel Del Coronado while we were there for our engagement photos on July 30th, 2009. At this point in our trip we had not done the pictures yet, we were waiting for Ananda, our photographer, to arrive. We had just met with the catering manager who was assigned to our wedding, Farrah, and we were a little frustrated because we really were not happy with the venue. Our original plan was to have an intimate wedding on the beach. When I signed the contract with The Del, I was under the impression that the beach we would be married on would be private and allow for an intimate setting. My impression was completely wrong however and when we saw where the wedding was going to be we were very disappointed to say the least. The scary thing is that John was not going to say anything to me about how displeased he was because he did not want to be a "jerk." I managed to get him to open up about what he was feeling and I am so thankful to God that he did because I was feeling the exact same way but would have never said anything. So anyhow, I talked to Farrah about the possibility of moving the wedding to the garden area where we were sitting in this photograph. She told me that our “package was for the beach venue only” and that she “would have to get approval from her director.” I was so upset. She made me feel terrible about our feelings even if she did not mean to. We decided together that if we could not have the wedding moved, we would cancel at The Del and we would just do the wedding in Arizona. So, we left it at that and went on with the photo shoot.

The photo shoot was a blast! We had so much fun taking pictures and jumping in the air. (We did multiple shots where we jumped in the air together and made funny faces ☺ ) Ananda did a pretty good job too. She did not pose us as much as we would have liked but she got many great pictures and we cannot wait to get the CD with all the full resolution photos on it!

On with the story of how God turns a situation you think you can't handle into an amazing, wonderful, and unexpected joy.

The weekend, for me, was excruciating. I emailed Farrah on Friday explaining the situation a bit further. The package we had did not only include the beach venue, in fact, it was for the beach venue, OR a venue called The Garden Patio, the location we both really wanted. That email was early in the morning and I did not hear from her at all that day. John, God bless him, tried to help me by saying he would take the burden of dealing with the venue situation off my hands. I am so appreciative to have a fiancé who cares so much about me and who is willing to do things like that for me, God has truly blessed me. Well, I had a hard time letting it go from my mind. I could not help thinking about it all weekend. How could I? The timeline Danielle and I had set had me sending invitations out by Saturday. Danielle is my wedding coordinator by the way. I could not send invitations out because I had no idea where we were going to get married! You ladies reading this will understand where I am coming from on this. ☺ I was still stressed to say the least. Poor John was trying to make me feel better. Again, I praise God for him, what a man to care so much about how I’m feeling. We were on the phone talking about it Sunday night and I was having a super difficult time feeling okay. On top of the issues with the venue I was having, I was also having an identity crisis with my hair and the enemy was kicking my butt with it. We got off the phone at about 10:30pm, as soon as we hung up I received an email from Farrah. She said that we were approved for The Garden Patio so we were good to go. I should have been overjoyed at this news but as I said before, the enemy was working pretty hard on me that day and all I could think about was how, now, I did not like my dress for the new venue. Before all this went down, I was already questioning the dress. Was it okay to have a white dress and not a wedding dress? Should I have looked more for a dress? Should I have a long dress? I was not going to be able to wear a vale and that bothered me too. I felt like I was missing out on something and now that we were no longer getting married on the beach those questions and concerns were on the forefront of my brain, not because of how the enemy had been beating me up, but because they were honest concerns that I was having.

On Monday, I told my mom the news and explained my dilemma. She said that, if I wanted to get a dress, we could go that day and look! I was so excited. We had a wonderful day together shopping and trying on dresses and this is where God turned a situation I thought I couldn’t handle into an amazing, wonderful and unexpected joy. I found a beautiful gown, I get to wear a vale, and my mom and I were able to have the experience of wedding dress shopping and all that stuff! Again, ladies, I think you will know what I’m talking about.

I really feel like this is a beautiful example of how God turns a situation you think you can't handle into an amazing, wonderful and unexpected joy. I feel like I am actually having a wedding now! The venue is AMAZING, my dress is WONDERFUL, and all this joy God has given me is completely unexpected and truly undeserved. I’m so much more excited than I was before and I am really happy with everything. My excitement and happiness has rubbed off on John and he is excited and happy as well. Praise God for His blessings. I know we do not deserve them but He loves us and blesses us anyhow and we need to remember that always.

I hope you enjoyed that story. I just wanted to share because I think it is cool when God does things like this and we recognize them. I also think that it is important to share when He does this, to show people how amazing He is.

Always in Him and with love,

Nicole

These are some "from our wedding blog" words

by Nicole

Our wish for your gift - Huruma Children's Home & School.

2009-07-22T12:47:00.000-07:00

This is a post I made to our wedding guests about what our wishes were for gifts. I don't think many people read it but I still feel passionately about Huruma. Some day we hope to visit and do work there. Maybe, if it is part of God's plan, we'll be able to adopt a child from Huruma. Anyhow, here's the post....

We wanted to write and express our love for the Huruma orphanage in Ngong hills. Ngong is about 25km from Nairobi, the capital of Kenya in East Africa. Huruma is an orphanage our church works with and helps to support. It is our hope to one day become more involved with Huruma and possibly adopt a child from there. It is for this reason we have decided not to register for our wedding. It is our hope that the money our loved ones would spend on gifts for us would be put to better use by helping those at Huruma.

Please visit Huruma's Home Page for more information on the orphanage.

Also, if you feel lead to give to Huruma on our behalf please visit their giving page. On this page you will find information on how Cornerstone is involved with Huruma and how to donate.

Again, it is our hope that our marriage will honor God and do great things for His people. Christ is doing amazing things at Huruma and we would love to be a part of that as Christ does amazing things in our life. :)

Always in Him and with love,

John and Nicole

These are some "from our wedding blog" words

by Nicole

thank You

2009-04-23T04:38:00.002-07:00

Lord, I just have to give You praise this very minute. I try to thank you at all times because You are amazing and You love me no matter what but I have to give a special prayer right now.

Lord I thank You for your promise. I am so amazed at how you are working in my life and I pray for Your guidance and wisdom in navigating this wonderful and amazing experience.

I knew Your promise.

I believed when You said you would not forsake me.

I understood that You have perfect timing.

I guess I just never imagined!

How can You love me so much?

Lord, I just thank You so much for filling my life and for adding the icing to the cake. I thank You for the friendship you have given me in John. I want to be filled with Your love and I am so thankful that I am. I want Godly conversation and relationships and You bless me with that. You are truly faithful and I know that. What a silly little human I am. I could never imagine it would be like this... ever. You are amazing. I am so blessed. Thank You! It sounds so simple and so silly, I don't know how to express this in words but I felt the need to say something. It seems like it isn't enough just to say thank You. I know You know my heart and what I am feeling. I know You are at work and all of it is because of You. I praise You for the gift of my life, of Your only Son and for all of the blessings you have bestowed on me. Help me to live for Your glory and to build my relationships to honor You.

In Jesus' precious name.

Amen

These are some "oh so thankful" words...

By Nicole

God's blessings for obedience

2009-04-13T08:25:00.005-07:00

My last post was on March 9th. This is a follow up to that post...

I broke things off with Michael the following week. He was out of town for a week and I was unable to see him until St. Patties day. It was easier than I expected. I didn't cry until he said "If you knew you were going to break up with me, I wish you wouldn't have made me pay for dinner." He was joking of course and said he was trying to lighten the mood but it made me sad anyhow. Overall, it went really well. Michael said he understood and that he didn't hate me. (a concern of mine) We parted ways and haven't talked since.

I think that this is where God's blessings for obedience come in.

I haven't looked back and have not once felt like I made a mistake after we ended things. I think that is one of the blessings God has bestowed on me for my obedience to His will. People keep asking if I miss Michael, if we are back together, or even talking. I tell them no on all accounts. I don't miss him. I have nothing bad to say about him, he is a great guy, but I really don't miss him and I don't feel the need to talk to him or get back together. I don't know if that sounds kind of callous, but I don't think it is. I think God has blessed me with the peace of knowing he wasn't the one and that is why I feel that way.

Here is where other blessings from God come in.

The day after I broke things off with Michael, I received a text from my friend CJ. He said that another friend of mine, Tonya, had told him that I had asked for a meeting with the Momentum pastor, Jeff. I didn't recall ever talking to Tonya about that but I figured meeting with Jeff couldn't hurt. He is a great leader and I knew we would pray together and I love doing that so I set up a meeting for the following Wednesday.

The weekend before my meeting with Jeff I was blessed to have Erynn and Doug to hang out with. We went out for a nice dinner and then out to a movie. On top of that, a friend of mine from Camber who I hadn't talked to in months, Vanessa, also invited me out to a movie. I already had the plans with Erynn and Doug but it was nice to know Vanessa was thinking about me and wanted to hang out. :) We had a great time that night and actually ran into Vanessa and her friends at the theater. I think it was a message from God letting me know that Vanessa and I would soon be hanging out together.

My meeting with Jeff started like this... Jeff: "So, what's up?" Nicole: "I don't know, I didn't really ask for a meeting, CJ just said Tonya said I did, so I'm not sure." Jeff: "Yeah, there are some people who were concerned about you." :) Apparently, people were concerned about me dating Michael. I had no idea that there were people at Momentum who cared so much about me, enough to talk to Jeff and ask for guidance on how to help me. We talked about how I got into the situation and how to avoid it in the future. It was a good talk and I feel stronger in my conviction to be found by a Godly man who will provide the kind of marriage that puts God in the center of it. The people who went to Jeff were my co-leader Dana and one of the male leaders, John. Dana is a great lady who has been a wonderful support in my growth with God. John is someone who I didn’t really know until this all happened.

Last weekend, the 4th, I was able to hang out with Vanessa, John, Jude and the rest of their “group.” We went to Golfland and played miniature golf. Then we went over to Jude’s house and watched a movie. The night was so much fun! I had such a good time and it was so nice to hang out with such wonderful people. Poor John and Jude had to experience first hand the annoyance of my food allergy but they took it in stride and were actually very sweet about it. It was really nice because they were so concerned about me. :)

This past Friday we all went hiking in the Superstition Mountains. It was a beautiful, perfect day. I had a great time with my new “group.” It is so much fun to be included in such a cool group of people and to be accepted there. We went to a movie that evening and diner after that. It was the best day I have had to date. Great God talk, good clean fun and the growth of some amazing friendships. I am having so much fun getting to know John in particular. He is such a Godly man and we have had some really great God conversations! I am really enjoying having people like him in my life and I am looking forward to growing those relationships.

So all of these things I feel, are the ways God is blessing me for my obedience. I thank Him every day for my new relationships and for blessing me with people in my life who really care. I know God is going to continue to bless me for being obedient to His will. I already have so much to look forward to! I have great people to hang out with now, I’m going to Hawaii with all of them at the end of May, and I am totally stoked about all of it!

These are some "blessed for obedience" words...

By Nicole

Here I am again...

2009-03-09T16:23:00.004-07:00

In September I blogged about protecting my heart and learning how to know when to let someone in...

In December I blogged about meeting a really amazing man...

In January I blogged about my struggle...

September should have been a lesson, December I shouldn't have assumed and January should have been a warning.

I have been justifying this to myself the whole time. Michael was kinder to me than anyone in my life has ever been. He did everything in his power to make me happy and even in the midst of this crisis he still says all he wants is for me to be happy. I almost wish he would be mean just so I could feel better about ending things with someone who is so wonderful. Right now I feel like I am ruining something that is really good because of my faith. Its true, that is what I am doing, but it isn't a bad thing, it just feels that way right now. I am struggling because I know it is the right thing to do, that God has someone equally wonderful and then some because that is His promise, and I know that I navigated this situation incorrectly from the beginning. In retrospect I feel like a fool. In reality, I'm only human and I know God forgives me.

These are some These are some "repetitive" words...

By Nicole

How could God love me so much?

2008-12-22T11:18:00.002-07:00

Really, how could He love us so much?

It is coming very close to Christmas and I have been hearing a lot about the Christmas story. I have heard it all my life but never in the perspective that I have been hearing it lately. You all know the story too I'm sure. Jesus was born to a virgin in a manger etc. etc.... but there is more to it. More meaning than just the birth of Jesus. There is significance to the story that I have never heard about, or rather, it was never the focus of the story so I never got it. So here is what I have learned recently, and the revelation is life changing.

Luke 2:8-11 (NIV) (Bold-ing added by me for emphasis)

8And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. 9An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. 10But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. 11 Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; He is Christ the Lord.

So can you get what I'm emphasizing here? Two things this year have been pointed out for me that I never really focused on before and I made the text of those things bold. The first thing is that Jesus was born for us, not as a friend, not as our "homeboy", not as a dictator, or as ruler, but as a SAVIOR. He was born to save us. The other thing is that He was sent for good news for ALL people. Not just a few or chosen people, but for everyone. Everyone who comes to know Him will be saved AND it is the heart of God that everyone come to know Him. I don't know about you but I think that is pretty profound.

Something else I have learned through the talks about the Christmas story:

Luke 2:13-14 (NIV)

13Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, 14"Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."

So we know that God did this amazing thing for ALL people, He sent Jesus, His only son, as our Savior. Something to take from this is also that God does not do things because of our behavior, he sent us a Savior despite of us. We can always be better but God loves us regardless. When we make the relationship with God about our behavior we make the relationship about us and not about God. We need to make it about God because get this,

Glory to God = Peace on earth.

Do you see it? This is what the Christmas story says. If we realize that God loves us so much that regardless of what we've done he still sent us a Savior and we make the relationship about God we give Him the glory He deserves. If we don't give the glory to God we miss the peace that comes with that. When we give the glory to Him there is peace in our hearts. The peace is available to ALL people because God's favor is for everyone.

I don't know about you but I think that it is so amazing that God loves me so much. I don't understand it but I am thankful for it and I accept it as graciously as I can. :)

I give thanks every day for the love of God. For everything that He provides. All I have is because of the Lord's mercy and love. Regardless of my circumstances, regardless of what I have done or do, I am thankful and full of joy and peace because I know I am loved by God. I know I can rest in that peace forever.

These are some "peaceful" words...

By Nicole

We made history today and I was a part of it!

2008-11-04T23:59:00.002-07:00

Today we elected Barack Obama to the presidency, as this nation's 44th president.
He is 47 years old, a democrat, and African American.
I think that this is an amazing thing and I am proud of our country for the move forward.
I am really looking forward to seeing what happens next.

I know there are some issues that are of concerns to those of us who are Christian and I understand that many of my friends are going to be upset by the outcome of this election. I have my own thoughts but, what I can say is that I am excited to be a part of such a monumental election, one that our children are going to study and learn about in history books one day.

I pray for Obama's safety. I pray that God gives him wisdom and strength to lead our nation. I pray for his family and for his cabinet to support him and help him do what God leads him to do.

I am so excited. I realized today... I will say to my grand children someday... I elected the first ever African American president and that is a super cool thing I think. It isn't just that though, its more than that, but the historic part of it is pretty neat.

These are some "historically exciting" words...

By Nicole

Emily's Halloween Costume 2008

2008-10-11T13:21:00.003-07:00

This is a video of Stephanie trying Emily's Halloween costume on. I find it HILARIOUS!

These are some "hopping" words...

By Nicole

More pics of Emily

2008-09-26T12:24:00.009-07:00

Emily is such a little angel. Most of the time she is all smiles.

Her newest trick is pulling herself up on anything. Here she was on the couch and pulled herself up to look behind it. She is crawling now and she has the funniest way of doing it. She crawls with one foot constantly underneath her. I think she does it because she is just so eager to walk.

A friend of mine was kind enough to give Matthew and Stephanie a bunch of clothes for Emily. This is her new bathing suit thanks to Stu and Stella.

On Mondays and Tuesdays I like to go over and spend some time with Matthew and Emily. We play cards and sometimes backgammon. Here Emily was supposed to be helping me beat Matthew. She isn't very good though cause we lost all 5 games!

Emily really likes lounging in her swing. She props her little leg up and gets comfortable. She just hangs out and enjoys the rhythm of the swing. She looks so funny sitting like that because its such a grown up thing to do. I do that all the time and it is cute to see my niece doing it.
Matthew, Stephanie and I all have blackberry phones. Its nice because we can send pictures to each other with ease. One day Matthew sent me this picture.
He said that she played under there for over half an hour. She is so funny!

Oh.. I love this picture. It shows so perfectly how cute and smiley she is.

Stephanie's mom took this picture. I love how she looks like a baby from a magazine.

Thats more for now. Hope you enjoyed them :)

These are more "photographic" words...

By Nicole

My little Niece Emily

2008-09-26T11:39:00.004-07:00

Emily is my 7, almost 8, month old niece. She is the love of my life and such an amazing gift from God. Here I am going to share some of my favorite pictures of her.

My mom was giving Emily a bath in the kitchen sink and she was so stinking cute! Here I picture her saying "what are you doing with that camera? Can't you see I'm not decent?"

And here she says;
"Give me that camera!!"She is teething right now so she really likes to chew on things. Uh! I can't get over how adorable she is. Sometimes when I am holding her she tries to knaw on my shoulder. We have fun playing a game where I put my finger in her mouth, she bites it and I yell "ouch." She giggles and wants me to do it again.
So I only have 3 photos on my computer at the moment. I need to email myself pictures from my phone and then I can post more.

These are some "photographic" words...

By Nicole

Entitled

2008-09-25T22:02:00.003-07:00

I am frustrated with something and need to vent about it.

The key issue I feel here is entitlement and those who feel they have it.

Drivers in their expensive cars who cut you off or turn right in front of you in a parking lot.
People you know who get mad at you and treat you poorly because you excel in something they don't.
Strangers who feel the need to treat you like you are less than nothing because of the position you hold.

All of these situations come about because these people feel entitled. They feel entitled to the way of the road, entitled to hold a higher position than you because they've been doing it longer, entitled because they have a job that doesn't require manual labor.

Entitlement is the poison that causes issues in this nation. We all feel so entitled and so worthy but really none of us are. If we didn't feel entitled we wouldn't treat each other the way we do. We would care more about our neighbors. We would do more for others and less for ourselves. We don't do this though because we feel entitled!

I have been wanting to vent about this for a long time. Every time I run into a situation where I get frustrated with how I am treated. I think of why it is happening and all I can come back to is entitlement.

I am in no way perfect and I know I can treat people poorly. I am trying though and offering my faults up to God. I am trying to be a better person. To do more for others and less for myself. To feel less entitled and more thankful for what I have, because I have a lot. I have been blessed and I need to share my blessings with others.

Thanks for letting me vent... I felt entitled to do so :p

These are some "entitled" words...

By Nicole

Words of Encouragement

2008-09-21T10:42:00.003-07:00

Here I will post God's words of encouragement to me and all my fellow Christians who are in a similar situation as I am with regards to the heart.

- Psalm 36:5-10
5Your love, O Lord, reaches to the heavens, Your faithfulness to the skies, 6Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains, Your justice like the great deep...
7How priceless is Your unfailing love! Both high and low among [women] find refuge in the shadow of Your wings. 8They feast on the abundance of Your house; You give them drink from Your river of delights.
9For with You is the fountain of life; in Your light we see light. 10Continue Your love to those who know You, Your righteousness to the upright in heart.

- Jeremiah 31:3-4
3..."I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness. 4I will build you up again"...

- Psalm 45:11
The King is enthralled by your beauty; honor Him, for he is your Lord.

- Hebrews 13:5-6
5...Be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." 6So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid."...

God's love, faithfulness and protection are eternal. I don't really need any other love because I can take refuge in the knowledge that He loves me and has loved me forever. He will always be there for me and even when I fail he will build me up again and never forsake me. He thinks I am beautiful and knew me before He created me. I have failed many times and am constantly longing for a love here on Earth, but really, I need to focus on the one love that will never leave me, the love of God. His love is the only love that will truly last forever and I know he has a perfect plan for me. If he has a love here on Earth for me, it will come in His perfect time and I need to trust that He will care for me.

- Romans 12:2
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is -- His good, pleasing and perfect will.

It is my desire to transform my thinking and to be content with His love. I will try my hardest to do so. I will take refuge in the knowledge that even if I falter, like I know I surely will, He will always love me and will always receive me with open arms.

These are some "encouraging" words...

By Nicole (And of course God)

Watch out, I'm going to brag a little...

2008-09-09T00:08:00.002-07:00

I had to take the PRAXIS1 exam on August 16th. I wanted to push it back because I hadn't had time to study for it but I missed the "48 hours in advance" time. So I went and took it and did alright on it.

I got my results today and I am totally stoked!!!

Out of a possible score range of 150-190 I got:

Reading -> 184
Writing -> 180
&
Mathematics -> 188

The rad thing about this is the average performance range:

Reading 174-181
Writing 173-177
Mathematics 174-183

I did above average on all 3!!! Woo hoo! :) I am so happy right now. Even though it's just the PRAXIS1, and not a big deal test, I still like knowing that I am smarter than the average bear. Yeah, I know that is silly of me and that I am tooting my own horn but hey, someone has to do it. I'm patting myself on the back.

These are some "bragging" words...

by Nicole

I didn't protect my heart

2008-09-08T23:54:00.005-07:00

So I have been trying my hardest to be a Godly woman. To be a woman of honor and class who respects men and honors God. I try to dress modestly so as to not provoke a wandering eye and I try not to flirt, although I'm not very good at that when I'm working.

One thing a single gal of God should also do is protect her heart. I have avoided becoming involved with men whom I know are not Godly men. The atheist for example, I didn't get involved with him. I know I should only become involved with men who are "equally yoked" because I want a man who understands where I am. I was doing a good job of that until my ex popped back into my life. I was doing just fine by myself until he decided to text me out of the blue. Last time I had talked to him he never wanted to see my face again. Well, apparently he changed his mind and we started talking again after almost 2 years. Now my heart is broken and there is no one to be mad at but myself. I failed at protecting my heart. Now I need to rebuild the protection I had previously and get better at knowing when to let someone in my life. What an idiot I am.

It sure is a good thing that God loves me regardless and that He looks at me with fresh eyes every minute. I am blessed to know that I am forgiven for not being a Godly woman by failing to protect my heart. I know better now and will certainly avoid that again! :)

These are some "humbled" words...

by Nicole

It is worse than I thought

2008-07-25T01:30:00.004-07:00

Lord, I pray that you watch over my friend. Help him to see You and your omnipresence in everything we see and do. Life is an amazing gift that You have given. How can someone look around them and see all that You have given and not believe? I pray that You make your presence known, that you use me how You see fit and that You help me to see what I need to do. I want to be a light. Please help me find the words to express Your will. I think I need to say something soon. Please guide me and help me to know the path I am to follow. I want to do your will. It is worse than I thought, bigger than I, and I need Your help. I offer it up to You. In His precious name, Amen.

These are some "frightened" words...

By Nicole

July 7th was a glorious day...

2008-07-08T00:26:00.004-07:00

On July 7th, 2008, God blessed me with an amazing gift.

The closure to a horrific miscommunication between myself and a dear friend.

Again He has shown that He has perfect timing and only in His time will your problems be resolved.

I have prayed for this daily for the past 10 months.

And now my prayers have been answered and I can finally rest in peace without the pain I so foolishly have been holding on to.

These are some "thankful" words...

by Nicole

It has been 3 days...

2008-07-04T03:26:00.004-07:00

I have not had a decent sleep in three days.

I have no idea what is wrong with me.

Every time I fall asleep, I wake up in pain.

I'm stressed and this isn't helping me.

I want to heal but I am sure the lack of sleep and stress isn't helping that either.

I am trying so hard to give my worries up to the Lord because I know they are bigger than myself and I know that He will provide all that I may need.

It is difficult though.

Pray for me...

Please...

Don't forget.

These are some "tired" words...

By Nicole.

The first blog...

2008-06-19T08:40:00.003-07:00

I am not sure why I set this up. I guess I thought that it might be a good outlet for my feelings, kinda like a diary, only one that everyone can read. I am also not sure how I feel about this fact. There are things that I would like to write about, that perhaps deep down I want people to know, but really I don't think people should know.

Regardless...

These are some "first" words...

By Nicole